go gently on your way
how my old dog taught me new writing tricks
Hi friends 🐶🍵
One of my great joys since coming home post grad school is hanging out with my doggo. I’m lucky to be part of a dog-loving family. We’ve never been without at least one, though Chaser has been with us the longest: fourteen years now.
Chaser became part of our family when I was a junior in high school. I know this specifically because I had made a scrapbook for egg babies (yes, that is a real high school experience I had) and Chaser was listed in it as their uncle.
When we moved to the US ten years ago we first left him in Manila, but eventually we brought him over on a transpacific flight. Upon landing in SFO he was extremely pissed at us (understandably). Luckily we’ve never subjected him to that again, and he has since remained a delightful fixture in our California lives.
I haven’t always been living at home, but when I am, walking Chaser is one of my primary chores. I genuinely enjoy it—for an hour I can just stick my headphones in and listen to a podcast or audiobook. But it was a real task for many years, because he was a pain in the butt whenever we encountered other dogs. I used to view Walking Chaser as a kind of minigame, where the goal was to avoid every other dog, because if we saw one Chaser was bound to embarrass himself making terrible screeching noises. In the last two years or so, though, he’s really mellowed out. Now all he cares about is jamming his face into bushes; meanwhile sometimes other dogs are screaming at him. He pays them zero attention, and its other owners making apologetic faces at me. Quite the role reversal.
Talking care of Chaser this past half-year made me realize a few things applicable to writing that I thought might be useful to share. It’s a strange concept, but hear me out.
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Regular Exercise
Chaser spends most of his days sleeping now, which makes his daily walk so important: it’s the main way we make sure he stays fit and active.
The thing is, his mood towards walking is different every day. Sometimes he’s incredibly lazy and I have to do a ton of coaxing to even get him out the door. Sometimes he drags his feet, and it’s a war to get him to walk anywhere. Other times he’s easy, and as soon as I put his leash on he’s leading the way. In almost all of these instances, no matter how the walk starts, by the time we’re halfway to the park he’s vigorous again, eager to go. And no matter how he feels in the beginning, whenever I get home, he doesn’t want to go back in. He wants to walk in circles in the garden forever. (Which would be great, except I usually still have another hour of dayjob work to do after our walk.)
The writing analogy here is that it’s the daily exercise that matters: not how he feels or how lazy he is at the outset. Because if we can get past the first hurdle, which is making it all the way past the neighbor’s driveway, eventually he finds his rhythm and is ready to do at least one full loop of the park. Sometimes we even get two loops in, which is what I always aim for, though it’s not always possible.
Similarly, if you take your creativity out for regular exercise—and it doesn’t need to be daily if you can’t do daily—it starts to become a habit. It’s still painful some days. But you know you can do it; you’ve done it a hundred times before. Also, however you feel in the beginning, once you get started moving, you’ll likely find it’s possible to go just a bit further.
Caveat: there are some days when Chaser really, really doesn’t want to go out—maybe it’s raining, or he’s been a bit sick. On those days, I don’t force it. For one thing, it would mean literally dragging him, which I don’t want to do to him or me. In these cases I take him out long enough for him to do his business, then bring him right back in. There’s always tomorrow to get the full walk in. As long as we get back on track with the regular walking a day or two after, it’s all right.
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Gentle Guidance
Chaser can’t really see anymore. We considered surgery, but felt uneasy about the risk, and luckily he’s so familiar with our house that it doesn’t pose too much of a problem. Unless there’s a random obstacle he’s pretty great at navigating everywhere.
Occasionally, though, he’ll get stuck in a corner. Sometimes when I’m not paying attention he’ll end up in this little corridor between my bed and the wall, just wide enough for my side table. When he’s in that gap he has no idea how to get out. He’ll scratch at the wall until I pick him up and point him in the right direction. Then he takes a few tentative steps and realizes oh, I do know where I am. He reorients. And he’s fine, until he gets stuck again.
Although this happens repeatedly, I know it’s a new and scary experience for him every time. I never get annoyed at him when this happens. He can’t see, after all.
I realized one time, after picking him up and setting him on his way yet again, that I should treat my stories a bit more like how I treat Chaser: gently. They don’t want to get stuck. And it isn’t their fault they don’t know where to go or what the problem is. The stories deserve patience and kindness. If they’re in a tight spot, my task is to steer them carefully so that they find their footing again: back to the place they know, and (somewhat) confidently on their way.
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Appreciate Everything
I loved Chaser when he was an unruly pest, and I love him now, as a chilled out friend. He brings my family endless joy. I’m completely biased but I also think he’s the cutest Boston terrier, and the compliments he gets at the park reinforce this. I love him even when he has extreme farts or when he snores too loud (but don’t put him in my room at night, or else I can’t sleep). My family calls him both “baby” and “lolo”—he is absolutely both. And I’m grateful every day that I get to poke his belly so that he glances, coolly, back at me. If I had moved to a different city after the pandemic I wouldn’t have this.
Similarly, I want to remember to be grateful for the words, through the challenges and delights, the monotony, the heart-pain, the small wonders. The times when I’m away from it.
It’s easier said than done, of course. Writing can be a slog. Sometimes our relationship is pretty antagonistic. I think I’m the boss of my writing, that writing is a grim act of beating a story into submission: work for me. Other times I sit down to write and just feel completely exhausted. But I want to be grateful for it, even when it is work. I don’t want to forget how cool it is: that my brain can come up with these places and characters, that translating images and feelings into words is something I can do, something that I feel is worth doing. Taking care of Chaser is work, but absolutely worth it.
One of my favorite things to do, when I have a free moment, is get down on the carpet where Chaser is curled up and watch him sleep. Usually, after a few beats, he’ll acknowledge I’m there with a snort or a glance. Or sometimes I’ll pet him because I can’t resist it, and after waking up enough to say “Hey” at me he’ll go back to sleep. I can lie there for a long time just listening to him breathe.
Of course, I want my stories to be awake, so the analogy falls apart there. But I think there is something to simply listening, sometimes—the story has its own breath and its own rhythms. Maybe all I need to do is witness it.
News and Things
I participated in a FutureConSF panel with brilliant colleagues Eliza Victoria, Victor Fernando R. Ocampo, and Vida Cruz last Nov 29, where we discussed Science Fiction in the Philippines and Singapore. I really enjoyed our conversation; we talked about the challenges of publishing at home, how we all got started, writing Filipino words into our stories, and more. If you’re interested you can watch it here.
I’m participating in the Kidlit for Luzon fundraiser, offering critiques for a short story or the first 25 pages of a manuscript in exchange for $15 donations to typhoon victims in the Philippines.
Thanks as always for reading! I hope the final month of your year has gone all right so far. And remember—treat your stories with the same care you’d treat a beloved pet. If you liked this post, feel free to share it with others, or sign up if you haven’t yet.